Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Everyday is a new beginning Sept 2012

Everyday I look to it as an opportunity to grow, learn  & more importantly  about myself and why I am even alive and here in this exact time and space. I always had this curiousity even as a child. Everyday was looked at as an opportunity on how to dodge the bullies, and the parental flying off the handle, wondering which parent would be available, what to eat, amungst other childhood fears that are completely off topic, but one thing I learned that everything had come with great purpose. Here I am fully present and aware of so much more than I was back than, and yet I thought I knew everything and all there was to know about life when I had not even begun to live. I also learned that no one can dictate for me what I feel right within my own being. Which brings me to this....I am not the weight I was before cancer. I started off at 120 and at 5'7 perhaps it was a bit too extreme for some, however my parents are small framed and fairly thin, so I didn't have to do anything to mantain my weight. Shortly after treatment and the loss of my entire thyroid and parathyroid bed as well as having been given steroids to help me gain weight to counterbalance the vigorous cancer treatrments that layed ahead I found myself at 220. I remained this weight for almost 2 years and bed ridden as my body was far too weak to even walk but my body was in extreme pain. I found myself giving up little by little and found no Dr willing to listen to me. I was expecting Drs to know what to do for me, yet somehow I felt the answers truly resided within. I heard on TV that PacBell had an amazing deal on a Compact Presario and immediately had one delivered to my door. It replaced my old one and I suddenly found the freedom to learn and grow even more and I knew all my answers layed within this Universe somewhere closer than I had imagined. Within 3 weeks I found my answer.... Mind.... My thoughts needed to change. I found a Dr willing to do what I requested and gave me exactly what I wanted...That was a natural Thyroid replacement. Within 3 months I dropped weight immediately 70 lbs to be exact. I dieted, I ate right, I did everything and to no avail before Armour Thyroid and yet my body never changed, I would never sweat when it was hot outside nor when I excercised so I knew I could not use synthetic replacements. Once I was switched I was alive again, ready for life, and done visioning how life could be, and began making my life what I had desired  it to be.
These past 6 years I have remained at 150, despite the government altering my Armour Thyroid to contain synthetic particals. As I was working out this morinng I got to thinking how someone could state in reference to my weight  that really hurt. Initially, I ignored it so as not to attach myself to the words themselves or coming from someone who claims they love me. This morning I was obviously still holding onto the words that were spoken, and it even affected my workout. I began questioning where else have I done this? Kept holding onto something that was no longer serving me? I continued to workout as I began to feel the hurt and simply allowed it to come up, and all of which I write above was what was created. It was not the words that were spoken but my own grief and sadness that stemmed from having gone through what I had gone through at all. My life changed drastically from requiring pills 4 times a day for life, to weight gain, to time spent with my family that I lossed from being bed ridden to being in the hospital more times than I could count. I just recently decided to take control of my weight and all that I eat these past few years and more rigorously trhough Vi-Shape Shake and even became a distributor of these nutritious and healthy products. So I guess in truth it was my own atachments to the words spoken and in truth I am over it... I love my body, my curves my round hips, and more importantly I am filled with gtratitude for all I have experienced as it has taught me so much more and that is I am not my body... I am the soul that resides in this body~ I am making changes for myself so that I can be a positive influence for others interested in what I have to offer and my children and the woman I see in the mirror every morning~ 
I will not let others fears or insecurities stop me from reaching my goals as this is who I am!
A WOMAN IN SEARCH OF HER OWN TRUTHS~And I have the courage to do so!
I AM GRATEFUL~ I now am able to share products that have proven positive in the lives of those I love dearly, including myself. If you're wanting change why not join me in my 90 day challenge and transform your life~
Antoinette Padilla

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