There was a time in my life I felt no one understood all what id been going through, or perhaps that no one even cared to. I went through highs & lows and experienced even
giving up times. I literally stood before a full length mirror extremely vulnerable and allowed whatever feelings to arise, those feelings I kept bottled up from years before, those feelings I believed that caused the cancer to begin with. I remained. Committed to changing those parts of me I found difficult
to swallow. I knew
almost instantly my way
of thinking needed to
change.
I seemed to sing that same old song. " Always me", why me? What am I doing wrong?
It was like riding a hamster wheel, a constant victim frame of mind. I had no idea that my beliefs and way of being had been causing me difficulty.
I let go of those I felt uncomfortable around, or I felt no connection with, and/or who I felt weren't healthy for me to be around. I began to look and go within for all my answers. I began listening to music that uplifted my spirit, I began writing and burning up everything id written in a symbolic means to letting go and forgiving everyone, and everything ever blamed
And continued to do so for 9 years. And to suddenly learn the cancer has returned, was a bit of a shock.
At first I was devastated, and than went to anger, and sadness, and I even grieved a little. I began questioning why? I completely took full responsibility for what was happening in my life. This time I chose to embrace the beauty and gifts I am to receive this time around. If everything I've ever learned in the years of my life, was for a greater purpose than it was important for myself to accept that this is my reality and in order to be a true healer as we all are, it must begin truly and without uncertainty with me
As some of you know I am attending school at Lionheart Institute. We/I specialize in energy healing. I've been
Attending since January 20011, yet I had only been focusing on healing my kidneys which had been functioning 2 points from requiring dialysis. Not knowing cancer was in my body again. I was so excited my kidneys function was restored after years of DR/S telling me there was nothing they could do and that the prognosis was permanent. I paid little to no attention, to what I proclaimed to several people last year, I feel it came back. And yet life happened and I focused on everything else outside of what I was feeling within my body. I had every opportunity to change my diet, including developing gallstones and being told I needed to have my gallbladder removed. However, I refused to have yet again parts of me removed, parts of me I love and had been born with. By the grace of God, that too was resolved.
And yet I continued with eating unhealthy, consuming diet coke,
Drinking alcohol on occasion, not sleeping properly, and restfully, allowing unhealthy, UN-supportive, and angry, people to reveal to me the exact beliefs I obviously housed for myself. Relationships are merely the reflection of our own beliefs. I continue to search within for my personal healing. I've opted to not receive the required I-31 treatment at this time and am focusing solely on eating vegetarian and organically wherever possible, exercise daily, going to bed early and getting up early as well, meditating, and being around those who share in the same likeness, laughing more, talking less. Listening more, sharing, giving, caring and loving all parts of myself and therefore loving others in the same way. Saying what I mean, & meaning what I say! Paying attention to what my body is requiring and following my hearts longing, my souls calling. I know without question I will be cancer free! We all are equipped with an innate gift, our God centers, and im tapping into my very own, daily. I see and feel myself healed and so it is! Utilizing my God given gifts and sharing my journey with others. Take and use what you can from my life. Its a personal adventure. I chose a difficult path and vow life live my life I vow to live my life to the best of my ability. I vow to continue sharing, and to reveal as much as I feel I can at any given moment. I vow to continue to care for my mind, body & soul and share, share, share in hopes that others may tap within their own mind, body, and souls! In all my experiences my relationship with God has strengthened. Don't wait for illness to force you to return to your core essence. If we do not choose to feel, we do not choose to heal! If I do not choose to feel, I will not heal!~
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