Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Everyday is a new beginning Sept 2012

Everyday I look to it as an opportunity to grow, learn  & more importantly  about myself and why I am even alive and here in this exact time and space. I always had this curiousity even as a child. Everyday was looked at as an opportunity on how to dodge the bullies, and the parental flying off the handle, wondering which parent would be available, what to eat, amungst other childhood fears that are completely off topic, but one thing I learned that everything had come with great purpose. Here I am fully present and aware of so much more than I was back than, and yet I thought I knew everything and all there was to know about life when I had not even begun to live. I also learned that no one can dictate for me what I feel right within my own being. Which brings me to this....I am not the weight I was before cancer. I started off at 120 and at 5'7 perhaps it was a bit too extreme for some, however my parents are small framed and fairly thin, so I didn't have to do anything to mantain my weight. Shortly after treatment and the loss of my entire thyroid and parathyroid bed as well as having been given steroids to help me gain weight to counterbalance the vigorous cancer treatrments that layed ahead I found myself at 220. I remained this weight for almost 2 years and bed ridden as my body was far too weak to even walk but my body was in extreme pain. I found myself giving up little by little and found no Dr willing to listen to me. I was expecting Drs to know what to do for me, yet somehow I felt the answers truly resided within. I heard on TV that PacBell had an amazing deal on a Compact Presario and immediately had one delivered to my door. It replaced my old one and I suddenly found the freedom to learn and grow even more and I knew all my answers layed within this Universe somewhere closer than I had imagined. Within 3 weeks I found my answer.... Mind.... My thoughts needed to change. I found a Dr willing to do what I requested and gave me exactly what I wanted...That was a natural Thyroid replacement. Within 3 months I dropped weight immediately 70 lbs to be exact. I dieted, I ate right, I did everything and to no avail before Armour Thyroid and yet my body never changed, I would never sweat when it was hot outside nor when I excercised so I knew I could not use synthetic replacements. Once I was switched I was alive again, ready for life, and done visioning how life could be, and began making my life what I had desired  it to be.
These past 6 years I have remained at 150, despite the government altering my Armour Thyroid to contain synthetic particals. As I was working out this morinng I got to thinking how someone could state in reference to my weight  that really hurt. Initially, I ignored it so as not to attach myself to the words themselves or coming from someone who claims they love me. This morning I was obviously still holding onto the words that were spoken, and it even affected my workout. I began questioning where else have I done this? Kept holding onto something that was no longer serving me? I continued to workout as I began to feel the hurt and simply allowed it to come up, and all of which I write above was what was created. It was not the words that were spoken but my own grief and sadness that stemmed from having gone through what I had gone through at all. My life changed drastically from requiring pills 4 times a day for life, to weight gain, to time spent with my family that I lossed from being bed ridden to being in the hospital more times than I could count. I just recently decided to take control of my weight and all that I eat these past few years and more rigorously trhough Vi-Shape Shake and even became a distributor of these nutritious and healthy products. So I guess in truth it was my own atachments to the words spoken and in truth I am over it... I love my body, my curves my round hips, and more importantly I am filled with gtratitude for all I have experienced as it has taught me so much more and that is I am not my body... I am the soul that resides in this body~ I am making changes for myself so that I can be a positive influence for others interested in what I have to offer and my children and the woman I see in the mirror every morning~ 
I will not let others fears or insecurities stop me from reaching my goals as this is who I am!
A WOMAN IN SEARCH OF HER OWN TRUTHS~And I have the courage to do so!
I AM GRATEFUL~ I now am able to share products that have proven positive in the lives of those I love dearly, including myself. If you're wanting change why not join me in my 90 day challenge and transform your life~
Antoinette Padilla


I have searched high and low to locate who I was and all the while come to find out all of who I am could and would never have been found or received by anything or anyone outside of myself. I just needed to have gone within. I allowed others to define me, I believed others opinions of me, and took everything personal , I let people treat me badly, I allowed others to treat me as though I were unimportant, and took this on as truth, every action I made there after reflected these same beliefs, truth is...... I get it! It was my initial beliefs of myself that caused others behavior towards me to begin with. It's as though things had to get so bad in order for myself to do things completely differently, or perhaps to recognize my part in it. I know without uncertainty there are no mistakes in life, as everything is but for learning. I live my life openly and without holding back my truth so that others may learn from my life. My life and the direction it is heading is because of my own doing through God and my willingness to pay attention to my hearts calling~ I am loving and appreciating my life's journey with even more intensity than I had ever imagined and I am seriously loving every waking moment~

Why I Relay

I was diagnosed with Papillary and Follicular cancers of the Thyroid in 2002 and this changed my life in such a way that I may not take my life for granted, as my life depends on calcium and Calcitrol daily and nightly. Since having had a total thyroidectomy as well as a para-thyroidectomy . I now suffer with hypo-parathyroid ism, and now dealing with cancer a second time around as I was re diagnosed July 2011, this time I have opted not to undergo Radiation or Chemo at this time. On top of all the difficulties I have endured over the years one thing remains for sure. I still remain with a grateful spirit, loving nature and kindness from the deepest regions of my soul. I had always one of two choices, either to take charge of my life and make a difference or give up and let go. Sometimes I did a little bit of both. I seemed to always learn, and grow, and appreciate and love myself a little more after the storms had cleared. One thing I always did was to write. I wrote about everything and in detail. It seemed to be the perfect medicine to heal and move forward. I often re-read my words and learned so much from myself.  I hear some complain about their lives, or worry about situations  they are faced with.  I am the first to admit life is about learning, growing and perfecting our souls. It's not about the situations we are faced with but about our attitudes toward these situations, and how we handle them that makes all the difference. I truly believe that there are no wrongs in all our lives but a journey, a personal journey we all must make the most of. It's not about finding the best one, it's about becoming the best we can. We may not think the same, or even feel the same, and our lives may be so different in so many ways but one thing I have noticed that remains the same is that we each are equipped with great purpose, and that we are all connected at a deeper level.....
Please re-join me for yet another Relay Event coming up on April 26th-27th 2014~

Bodhi Meditation 12/22/11

Bodhi Meditation was an amazing experience tonight, especially. I have experienced love in such away that can best be described as a spiritual awakening. Where there is love and spiritual faith,  a true knowing,  there leaves no room for illness. One may question why do babies get sick or die young, why do bad things happen to good people, or why did she/he have to leave. I believe we all have a purpose to fulfill, and things happen for a reason that only God knows. I believe in Karma, and compassion, and I believe all religions lead to one God and I believe we truly all are brothers & sisters, and I believe we are all connected including that of the universe, animals, and all life forms.
This is the message I received loud and clear. I experienced this knowing for a brief moment and soon realized how difficult it has been my whole life to allow love from anyone, in...... Or any goodness for that matter. I felt for a moment unworthy of this intense feeling of LOVE. This seemed to be a pattern of mine, and for a brief second my behavior flashed before my very eyes, that brought up an intense feeling, that only this time I didn't have to fight it or hold back or even hold it in....The tears began to flow without any emotion, just this intense feeling of being cleansed sort of speak. I was able to feel intensity in various parts of my body that can best be described as repressed emotion/energy. At first my legs hurt, my back hurt, my throat hurt, and it started to shift and I adjusted my body in such a way to allow this pent  up of illness causing toxicity to be released. I have only been attending meditation for a short while however, it truly has strengthened not only my mind, but my body, my beliefs and my faith, and I know without uncertainty that I will be cancer free. I have performed amazing healings on others and experienced miraculous healings myself and in order to live my purpose and fulfill my most deepest longing it begins with me, in every aspect. I don't have to wait for permission or even go against my religious up bringing, but rather I am going towards my souls calling and I am fighting for my life or so I had believed. Truth is I don't have to fight at all, but I must listen to the voice within, my souls calling, my God center~For myself,  cancer is a wake up call. It is a signal that I  must change the way I  live. It is the beginning of a new, better life and a life-long journey of understanding and growth .Meditation and proper nutrition  can initiate healing on all levels as there is no real separation between body and mind.I am ready! Namaste
Written by Antoinette Padilla 12/22/11

My Experience with Meditation

I just happened to pick up a Bodhi Meditation newspaper out in the city
of Hollywood only one week prior to the Hilton Ceremony featuring
Master Jin Bodhi. I clearly had no idea what I was about to
experience however, intuitively I knew I was heading in the right
direction, as I had grown desperate for answers, and had ran out of
places to look, or so I had thought. I had been in search of something
so much more for many years, yet I couldn't tell you what that
something was. I did believe and feel somehow that my longing would
be fulfilled only by going within.  The peace I yearned for, the
solitude I craved, a clear and empty mind, including the mental
clarity I had longed for. I simply had no idea how to go about it. I
tried to relax my mind, my body & my restless spirit, the more I
tried, the more wound up I became. I noticed my mind seemed to remain
in a constant chaotic state, filled with turmoil, deep sadness,
loss, and intense fear and without valid reason, it just was part of
my every day behavior. I would notice I was holding onto wounds of
the past, long gone relationships, including family members that had
past on. I noticed I had been reliving these events and negative
emotions daily without an understanding as to why, however, it was
something I learned to do my entire life and it was now making me
ill yet again. I knew something had to change and that something was

Looking back now I managed to increase these feelings by not knowing how to
accept responsibility for all the choices I made regarding my past,
instead I learned to dodge responsibility, I set myself up for an
emotional battle, I over reacted and I was on a flight or fight mode
constantly, and seemed to be very defensive whether I was right or
wrong. I knew clearly these were the defenses I used even as a child
yet, they were affecting me as an adult as well. I did not know how
to be any different. I carelessly pushed people away especially those
who wanted to love and be close to me, which truly was the opposite
of what I had wanted for myself and in my life, yet my patterns
consistency proved otherwise. It wasn't surprising that I would soon
be diagnosed with Follicular and Papillary Cancers in 2002

I had one of my good friends come by and set up my brand new
computer system , when she noticed a lump on my neck. I tried to
avoid the subject but she kept persisting I get it checked. I felt my
blood run cold, as though someone just learned of a secret I was
trying to keep, and in fact it was true the secret was now out in the
open and it was time to take responsibility as it had been fours
years since I noticed the lump on my neck and I did nothing about it.

It would be several more days before id be seen by a Dr so I had time
to reflect upon my denial, and  re-evaluated my life and found I had
little to no love for myself, or I would have handled this years
before. Instead I continuously chose to avoid it and deny there had
been anything wrong at all. It was approximately 3 more weeks by the
time the results came back and I learned it was cancer. I don't
believe I even allowed the Dr to finish his sentence when I heard the
word c-a-n-c-e-r I was already in my car driving home, crying

It was fear that kept me from taking responsibility for myself. Fear is
the key word here that I allowed to keep me from truly living my life
to the best of my ability. I noticed I had been paralyzed by fear for
most of my life, and being struck with cancers proved a perfect
example of what results from living in fear in my opinion, yet, I had
no idea how to live and be any different.

Somehow I felt if I was going to come out of this entire ordeal alive I would
need to choose life. Wow! I thought, I was at choice for my life,
perhaps I always had been but this time around it was from a knowing
without uncertainty. Everything came to light almost immediately. My
faith, or rather lack thereof  became apparent, my lack of self
acceptance, lack of self love, everything I lacked came to surface.

I was going crazy inside. I didn't want to be going through this at
all, but I was. I found myself powerless and clueless, confused and
alone. I knew somehow my thoughts needed to change but again I knew
no other way to do it differently. I began questioning what if? What
if by chance there was a reason for this important experience in my
life? What if everything in all our lives happens with great purpose?
I began becoming more and more curious about things I hadn't thought
about prior. My deep questioning brought comfort to my soul.

The surgery initially had been a success, although the radiation would
need to be administered within the next month to kill off the
remaining cancer cells and because the cancers had spread into the
lymph nodes. I also learned that one of the cancers they had found
was never found in people as young as I had been and was a much more
aggressive cancer which left many questions within their minds. They
also reassured me that id be fine and healthy in no time at all.

Saturday morning around 8;30 am I completed signing my release papers and
couldn't wait to see my brother and my daughter who were on their way
to take me home. I mentioned to the nurse that I felt a mild tingling
sensation in my face, hands and feet and I noticed it began to
increase. She said, “oh no worries i'll bring you 2 tums and you'll
be fine”. Truth is the tums did not relieve my symptoms. Instead
the numbness increased, I began feeling extremely weak and dizzy,
light headed and nervous. I felt this increased energetic spinning
within my body and the numb tingling sensations were no longer just
on my hands, feet and face but in and over my entire body. I
literally felt my entire muscular system tightening and hardening. My
skin became too tight to even move at all but I used my will to
survive and every breath of  my being to manage to push the nurses
station yet no one came. I desperately called my mom and told her I
was dying”. Of course she panicked and told me to call the nurses
and I explained I had done that and no one was coming. I begged her
to call 911, “please mom”, “i'm dying”. I even threw the
phone to the floor in hopes to draw attention to my room, but no one
came. I squirmed out of bed and walked as though I were hunched back
I couldn't straighten up let alone lift my feet to walk hurriedly to
the hallway, instead I dragged my feet. I stood at the door way that
contained not a single soul I tried yelling “help” but it came
out only as a whisper. I had completely forgotten my vocal cords had
been temporarily damaged due to surgery. Tears began streaming down
my face. I knew my life was over and it was going to be a painful
death. I was physically suffering and no one was around to help me. I
simply gave up and slowly and effortlessly returned to my bed and let
go and let God while awaiting death to become me. So many thoughts
filled my head.......

I realized no matter how many people in the world loved me, not one of
them could help me. I was alone with all of my beliefs no matter how
distorted they may have been, all of my experiences, all of  my lifes
journey, it was all belonging to me. I knew in my heart my life was
not over, and yet I knew I would soon be removed from the life I had
known and there was nothing I could do about it. I noticed the
spinning sensation I mentioned earlier began to increase and I felt
it moving upward in my body without my needing to do anything at all.
All of a sudden an emergency team entered. I opened my eyes shocked
to find my Dr at the foot of my bed with tears streaming down his
face along with 2 nurses at his side. I was at his mercy begging him
for answers, I wanted to know what was happening to me and why? All
their faces appeared horrified and non spoke a word. He began
yelling at the nurses to hook me back up the Calcium Citrate IV,
questioning why I was removed from the IV to begin with. “Mind
you”, I was only removed from the IV because I was being released
from the hospital before all this happened. It seemed like eternity
before they obtained the Calcium IV. I now noticed an increased
electrical surge of energy flowing throughout my body, spinning
continuously, picking up momentum and clearing out my entire body it
seemed, leaving not a single particle behind. I could feel and hear a
loud even toned ringing in my ears but I could also feel it vibrating
throughout my body as well. Nausea, nervousness, and excruciating
painful muscle spasms were felt every inch of my body and extreme
tightness in my chest, when suddenly I was literally squeezed out of
my body through the crown of my head, like that of the soft spot of a
new born babies head. I felt my body as one, even though I was
clearly detached from it. I knew it was mine. I felt as though I was
parallel to the body below me. I could still feel every physical
sensation yet at the same time I was this huge mass of energy
swirling in and out of itself in a circular motion continuously
spinning. I saw colors from every shade of gray to white. I literally
floated further and further away from my body until I reached the
ceiling. I tried to move up even further through the ceiling in hopes
to be released into Heaven but instead bits and pieces of my life
flashed before me and I heard myself talking, it was my own voice
stating I would meet teachers/masters that would guide me on my
journey. I now knew my life was not over mainly because I could still
feel my physical sensations. It felt like I was communicating
telepathically from a deeper perspective. I looked down at my body
and noticed how painful my death had been. I watched as Dr worked
feverishly to revive me. Nitro glycerin pills under my tongue, the
DE fibrillation team using the paddles on my chest and nothing brought
me back until my body was reconnected to the Calcium Cit-rate IV. It
felt as though I were watching a movie on a widescreen, yet I was
connected to each and every human being below me. In fact I knew I
was. I knew we were all connected, as time went on I soon forgot.

I vowed to make my experiences known in agreement to fulfill the many
messages I had received between here and there. I felt I would learn
to live my life without fear and without harsh criticism, I would
also share my life's journey and experiences in the same manner. I
knew I would soon begin healing my distorted perceptions, the mental
wounds I've collected over the years, with unconditional love,
compassionately, honestly, and more importantly with self acceptance.
The moment I was reconnected to the IV I quickly began losing the
most glorious feeling of euphoria and weightlessness. I felt this
magnificent and strong energy force pulling me back towards my body
and away from the ceiling on through the crown of my head. Amazingly
I remained calm and serene which had been so unlike my nature. I lay
in my bed completely numb, dazed, confused and deeply sad, sad that
my journey had to continue. I soon learned that during surgery I not
only had a total thyroidectomy but unfortunately I lost all 4
parathyroid glands as well, this left my body unable to regulate
calcium in both the blood and the bones, and therefore I was
dangerously depleted of calcium and suffered cardiac arrest and a
brief moment of between worlds.

I spent many years since trying to seek the answers as to why this
entire ordeal happened to me and sought out others similar
experiences, I read many books, searched online, joined various self
help groups but no one helped me fully understand what I soon learned
had been my very own and personal  spiritual journey.

I spent the next 9 years in cultivation, learning, reading and
journal about my entire life's journey to the best of my ability and
I still felt something was missing. By 2010-2011 I was growing more
and more anxious, nervous and the anxiety attacks increased. I was
clueless about what to do now, because I thought I was doing so much
training to free my post traumatic syndrome stemming from my near
death experience and yet my anxiety attacks were coming more
frequently. I noticed through out my childhood I suffered anxiety
attacks and began taking medications early on. I wanted it different
this time around. I started noticing I was not living my purpose,
whatever that purpose was, I knew I wasn't living it because I found
myself depressed, sad, lonely, and nothing seemed to be working in my
life and more importantly I found myself attached to negativity,
without knowing this was what I had been doing. I felt like I was
running on a hamster wheel, running fast yet going no where.

I entered The Hilton Ceremony Chanting 5 Day Retreat featuring Master
Jin Bodhi and immediately felt at peace and yet so very uncomfortable
at the same time. I found myself questioning what I was doing here to
begin with? I had no idea what I was chanting in Sanskrit and
physically I was feeling ill. The first day I was extremely
exhausted, 2nd thru the 3rd day I was
physically in pain , emotionally and  exhausted. Still, I remained in
my commitment to attend all 5 days. I knew I needed to be here
because I came alone without checking out the website, I knew no one
attending this event, and yet every night and the morning after I
couldn't wait to attend again regardless of the physical pains and
discomforts, and regardless if I understood what I was actually
doing. I knew however, that my mind, body & soul was craving the
energy. The positive, loving powerful healing energy I experienced
every morning.

I felt 2 anxiety attacks coming on during the chanting retreat and
questioned others that were volunteering why this was happening to me
while I was doing nothing but sitting still? I was made aware that
this was called transitioning and/or restructuring. It made perfect
sense as my body began adjusting itself.

I immediately I knew this was the teacher/master I had been looking
for, and I knew that my anxiety attacks would eventually lesson as
long I continued to trust and work diligently towards self
cultivation and truly healing my own thoughts. I have since attended
2 more 8.5 days Bodhi Meditation retreats and most recently attended
the Health & Fitness Retreat without having a single anxiety
attack. I have not used Xanax for my anxiety since July 2011. I've
changed my entire eating to a more health conscious way, my thinking
has become more clearer and my body has relaxed a great deal. During
the Hilton Ceremony in July I had been diagnosed with cancer for a
2nd time but this time I have chosen to refuse radiation
treatment at this time to begin working towards my own personal
healing through practicing The Meditation of Illumination and The
Meditation of Purity for the next 60 days. I have not refused to
listen to Dr per say but I decided to help in my own personal healing
and in truth I know without a doubt in my mind I will soon be cancer
free, healthy, happy and whole.....Bodhi Meditation/ Puti.Ca has not
only changed my life but it's brought life back into myself. I know I
am fairly new to this experience but the changes I have been
experiencing is like bringing; Heaven here on earth~I am love, and
it's completely safe to be love and share love around the world to
all people it truly is who I am and it's strengthening here through
Bodhi and I am forever grateful~ Antoinette Padilla~

Everyone is our Teacher

The people we meet who affect our life in both successes and our downfalls we experience, these are those that design who we are. We are those that can alter these results any time we chose. That is our gift. All our experiences good, bad, right, wrong, difficult, painful, all the injustice's we feel that have been done to us, against us, or even by us, can be learned from. These lessons in hindsight were simply stumbling blocks that strengthen our character, and give us wisdom, and inner guidance. If someone hurts us, or we feel betrayed, leaves us broken and lifeless, confused and shattered forgive them as they have entered our lives to teach us humility. {Humility or humbleness is a quality of being courteously respectful of others. It is the opposite of aggressiveness, arrogance, boastfulness, and vanity. Rather than, "Me first," humility allows us to say, "No, you first, my friend." Humility is the quality that lets us go more than halfway to meet the needs and demands of others.} If someone loves you, love them unconditionally in return, not because they are loving you freely, and have chosen you among all others but because, they are teaching you to love without condition, to experience this kind of love happens but once in a life time. Never take a single day for granted, and live with gratitude every chance you get. Talk to people you may have never considered talking to before, and listen with your heart. This is the most difficult for me to express but I love you unconditionally and I truly with all my being want you to be completely whole and complete and must add, let yourself fall truly, madly and deeply in love. Break free and set your sights high. Your life is at your feet and in your hands. You are the creator. Create, design and build your life and then begin sharing it with the world, as the universe will return all that you share and give out. Everything happens with purpose regardless if we can see or sense it at the time. This includes those that enter our lives and we know right away that they were meant to be exactly where they were. You know who these people are, it can be our parents, our roommates, our neighbors, our lovers, present and/or our past, sometimes even a complete stranger, you know exactly what I mean....Who when you lock eyes, you know the very moment that they will affect you in some profound way. Sometimes things happen to us and at the time they appear and feel much too difficult and painful to endure. In fact sometimes even unbearable and unfair, eventually you realize and accept that without over coming these torturous obstacles we may have never realized our potential, strength and the power of our hearts. Everything happens for a reason, and nothing happens by chance or by means of good, or bad, luck, illness, injury, love, lost moments, or true greatness. All occurs to test the limits of our spirits. From my experience as a healer and a teacher, I have concluded that we create much more pain and illness in our lives and in our bodies by avoiding the original wound through our habitual defense patterns that the original wound created in the first place...... It's time to let all defenses go, and begin to heal and set your spirit free~

A Part of My Journey

There was a time in my life I felt no one understood all what id been going through, or perhaps that no one even cared to. I went through highs & lows and experienced even
giving up times. I literally stood before a full length mirror extremely vulnerable and allowed whatever feelings to arise, those feelings I kept bottled up from years before, those feelings I believed that caused the cancer to begin with. I remained. Committed to changing those parts of me I found difficult
to swallow. I knew
almost instantly my way
of thinking needed to
I seemed to sing that same old song. " Always me", why me? What am I doing wrong?
It was like riding a hamster wheel, a constant victim frame of mind. I had no idea that my beliefs and way of being had been causing me difficulty.
I let go of those I felt uncomfortable around, or I felt no connection with, and/or who I felt weren't healthy for me to be around. I began to look and go within for all my answers. I began listening to music that uplifted my spirit, I began writing and burning up everything id written in a symbolic means to letting go and forgiving everyone, and everything ever blamed
And continued to do so for 9 years. And to suddenly learn the cancer has returned, was a bit of a shock.
At first I was devastated, and than went to anger, and sadness, and I even grieved a little. I began questioning why? I completely took full responsibility for what was happening in my life. This time I chose to embrace the beauty and gifts I am to receive this time around. If everything I've ever learned in the years of my life, was for a greater purpose than it was important for myself to accept that this is my reality and in order to be a true healer as we all are, it must begin truly and without uncertainty with me
As some of you know I am attending school at Lionheart Institute. We/I specialize in energy healing. I've been
Attending since January 20011, yet I had only been focusing on healing my kidneys which had been functioning 2 points from requiring dialysis. Not knowing cancer was in my body again. I was so excited my kidneys function was restored after years of DR/S telling me there was nothing they could do and that the prognosis was permanent. I paid little to no attention, to what I proclaimed to several people last year, I feel it came back. And yet life happened and I focused on everything else outside of what I was feeling within my body. I had every opportunity to change my diet, including developing gallstones and being told I needed to have my gallbladder removed. However, I refused to have yet again parts of me removed, parts of me I love and had been born with. By the grace of God, that too was resolved.
And yet I continued with eating unhealthy, consuming diet coke,
Drinking alcohol on occasion, not sleeping properly, and restfully, allowing unhealthy, UN-supportive,  and angry, people to reveal to me the exact beliefs I obviously housed for myself. Relationships are merely the reflection of our own beliefs. I continue to search within for my personal healing. I've opted to not receive the required I-31 treatment at this time and am focusing solely on eating vegetarian and organically wherever possible, exercise daily, going to bed early and getting up early as well, meditating, and being around those who share in the same likeness, laughing more, talking less. Listening more, sharing, giving, caring and loving all parts of myself and therefore loving others in the same way. Saying what I mean, & meaning what I say! Paying attention to what my body is requiring and following my hearts longing, my souls calling. I know without question I will be cancer free! We all are equipped with an innate gift, our God centers, and im tapping into my very own, daily. I see and feel myself healed and so it is! Utilizing my God given gifts and sharing my journey with others. Take and use what you can from my life. Its a personal adventure. I chose a difficult path and vow life live my life I vow to live my life to the best of my ability. I vow to continue sharing, and to reveal as much as I feel I can at any given moment. I vow to continue to care for my mind, body & soul and share, share, share in hopes that others may tap within their own mind, body, and souls! In all my experiences my relationship with God has strengthened. Don't wait for illness to force you to return to your core essence. If we do not choose to feel, we do not choose to heal! If I do not choose to feel, I will not heal!~